my friend josh, the current bidet

so let me tell you a few things about my friend josh. today is his birthday, and as such, i would like to celebrate some of his unique and god-given abilities. for example, pictured here one can see how coordinated he is. not everyone can complete a shuffle pass to their own beer, you know.

and what else can one share about josh.....i've known him for so long it's hard to parse all his wonderful qualities. during the years i have known him he peed on the palace of justice in france, was attacked by a dracula on wheels in romania, arm wrestled nazis (also in romania), drank out of a boot while looking for alligators in the south, and became a master of global affairs.

but there is so much more to josh! for example, he has fine looking horns...

he has an enchanting musk that even makes him giddy.

and his bionic eye still makes me envious.

he enjoys taking his retarded little brother out of the house from time to time. so that's nice.

and he's not ashamed of his heritage! you go girl!

so drink up josh!

and put your party face on!

go have one of your trademark bizarre dinners. but, don't be disappointed, pointed, pointed...

have many beers, and then tell seth what you really think about him

because today you are the bidet boy!

happy bidet, josh! can't wait till you come down here and strap on a proton pack!