seriously baby, i can prescribe anything you want

so i got into school and i have a decision to make: where to go? should i stay in new york or go to boston? a lion or a crimson butthole? i drank champagne to celebrate the fact that doctorhood is soon upon me, and went to boston to see what this crimson butthole thing is all about.


i also purchased a carvel ice cream cake. these are so good, so artificial and go wonderfully with liquor!


i also drank a lot. the way i see it, i'd better get my drinking in now, before the labs, schoolwork and cadavers take up all my goddamned waking time.


mego made nachos with a side of hand to celebrate. mmmm, hand.


look at all the crimson buttholes, using there legs like a bunch of suckers. as far as the campus, it was pretty, but i didn't really feel comfortable. and where would my local bar be? and who would i hang out with? no, no, i don't think i like this boston thing one bit.


and the transportation! the "T" stops running at like 11pm. or maybe it's midnight. whatever. how would i get around? what if i were hungry at night? would i have to get a car and drive to the store like toby. oh god, i'd be like toby!


so i took the china town bus back to nyc and took a look-see at columbia, where the non-buttholes flow like wine.


the library was extraordinary. seriously.


reminded me of the Reichstag and ghostbusters.


and look how many urinals there are! man-o-man. i think we have a wiener. now josh and i can be competitive with our new york schooling. now all i need is a helper monkey and i'll be set with this whole student thing.