food is for eating, mostly.

the holiday season is upon us, and this makes me think about all the food i am about to consume. moreover, it makes me think about all the wonderful food i have eaten since moving to north carolina. pictured here you can see a soup meagan made last month. my bowl had a footprint in it. i'm pretty sure it was an alligator.


so there are many rewards to eating sumptuous meals; for one, they make me less hungry, so that's pretty important. many times they are laden with high fructose corn syrup or soon-to-be-banned chemicals, and this makes my insides excited. and all those delicious polysaturated fats, while leaving me logy and lethargic, pave the way for the ever-wonderful food coma.

speaking of food comas and things i like to eat, it is time to file a report of my recent foray into the deep, great wonder that is the NC state fair.

for those northerners who are unfamiliar with the idea of a southern state fair, i will inform you that it's kinda like the fairs i've witnessed in pennsyalvania, just weirder. nascar is a common theme for the rides and games, elephant ears abound, the ponies are much cooler (smaller), and the population is mostly large southern families wearing palin buttons and dudes showcasing wicked teenage mustaches.

the entire point of going to this event was to get bloated and to consume deep fried foods while riding upside down on a zany-titled ride. and since i am a recent transplant to this area, i wanted to do it all. as such, i withdrew $100 from the atm and proceeded to eat one of everything. this included such southern delicacies as frozen poo on a stick(above), frozen cheesecake, and fried twinkies.

i've had fried mars bars before, so i felt somewhat prepared for the "oh no, i'm about to poop my pants!" sensation following fried candy consumption and confident this would not interfere with my desire to ride in the teacups.

there were also all sorts of vegetables slathered in butter and frying sauces. pictured here meagan is countering her fried dough with an unfried corn.

here vickie had peppers on her italian sausage monster. very delicious.

toby, being the guy he is (a mummy), could not have the meats.

nevertheless, he took the plunge and purchased some fried cobbler. like everything else, it was awesome.

oh right, this was the twinkie. kinda looks like a caveman's club.

epic dessert.

i also had some fries, which were less epic. i gave them my lowest rating yet: 6 thumbs up.

and we all enjoyed the fried mac & cheese. it had this spicy nacho sauce, which was good because i'm a man who loves his spicy nacho sauces.

to wash this all down i think i had a water. but thinking this over now, i really don't recall if i had anything to drink. maybe i didn't drink anything. is that possible?

anyhow, toby did have a drink, but he experienced a severe brain fart because he purchased himself a limeade. well, the joke was on him, because as it turned out, this drink was in fact gasoline. epic fail.

there were a few other munchies eaten, such as cotton candy, hot dogs, more fries, a bunch of candy (graciously purchased by toby and vickie in the candy castle) and more funnel cake. these were all very epic. and oh yeah, meagan and i had a tiff about whether funnel cake and fried dough are the same thing, and which is the better option. it turns out they are about the same thing, but are oozed out of different tubes into different shapes. i think i still lost the fight.

after watching meagan ride the zipper, we played a few games. i lost at the ring toss, toby won a crappy stuffed animal at the balloon/dart station, but then proceeded to win a unc-themed ramses animal after beating a 5-year-old at the water gun race.

as far as he was concerned, this was epic.

the fair was a really nice time, but after a few hours i really wanted to leave and go eat some ruffage.

before we could leave we all wanted to go see the animal races. ill maybe post more videos later, but here you will see either pigs or ducks racing around a track for the reward of cheese doodles. at the time i though this was a extra shitty treat to give these special little guys, but after this past weekend (where i consumed a drums of cheese balls) i must say that these are very smart animals. i would totally run around that track for a doodle.