adequate sustenance for the dr. who marathon

this past tuesday was josh's big birthday, and according to tradition, we took him to white castle for and all you can eat barf fest. this is josh and seth on the way to our local white castle. seth is hoping no one finds the severed head in his bag.




here we are.




this comely fellow is the man responsible for grilling the "meat" into submission. at the top of the picture you can see the gun he uses to treat the grilling specimens. no joke. this is a real gun with live ammunition. i didn't know this until i started eating at white castle, but the meat is so low grade that it is actually alive with microbes, protozoa and amoebas. what that means, essentially, is that because the burgers are still alive it is very possible for the meat to try and flee the grill. when this happens the employee on the grill riddles the meat with bullets. awesome.




i thought it would be nice to purchase josh one of those trinkets you always find in shopping centers...he wanted one of the toys from the "homies" series.




why is there a beaver where you retrieve your homie?




josh's homie turned out to be a tape worm. no joke. worst present ever.




we purchased josh a crave case, a sack of chicken rings, and one order of fried clam strips.




it is clear that josh is an experienced competitive eater. he knows that to force feed thousands of calories in a very short amount of time you need to "get in the zone." whenever we do crazy shit like this josh grunts, beats his chest and smashes his head into walls while shouting, "GET IN THE ZONE JOSH! GET IN THE FUCKING ZONE!" then his expression changes and it is almost like he becomes a different person...a zombie josh. heck, if ain't broken, don't try and fix it. that's what i say.




josh actually does not know what is in the crave case...he is very confused because he figured the contents of a crave case would be predicated on what he 'craved' at that moment. in this picture josh is visibly upset not find a dead prostitute.




when you get a crave case there is an oath on the inside of the lid. it is hard to make out the writing in this picture, so i will break it down for you. essentially, the oath says something like, "i hereby swear on this day, on the twentieth day of september in the year 2005 of our lord jesus christ, to have the most explosive diarrhea, the most provocative bowel obstruction, and most depleted innards, so save me lord. no foolin.



since i am 11 feet tall i am fortunate to have the capacity to eat many of these "burgers." i figured through trial and error that the flavors come to life if you sneeze on the chicken ring-burger combo.




this is doodle's dinner, and there are so many things wrong with it. where is the oath? how come the chicken is not in ring form? how can you expect to get sick from eating this? sometimes i just don't get people.




these are some of our leavins.







happy birthday josh.