sweet, nourishing gruel

oh yeah, that's right. i figured it out. i could not post pictures because, just as i suspected, hitler was in my computer. problem solved. so in the face blogger, nobody tries to pull a fast one on the gilhouse, nobody! you take that hitler shit and shove it.

ok, back to reality. this past evening, as josh has so wonderfully documented (sans pictures), the fourth annual all you can eat shrimp fest took place at our local red lobster.

there she sounds through the window. before you enter the red lobster this is a beautiful sight. when leaving the all you can eat shrimp fest,however, i would rather watch josh piss out his ass (which i wager did indeed happen).




the decor is very appropriate for a very expensive, shitty restaurant. when i grow up i would like to put this lamp in my room that has the wagon wheel coffee table. my future wife will appreciate my "taste."




this is seth showing us that our table was ready (the little lobster thing is blinking). boy were we excited. on the way to our table i saw two people about my age (15) on a date. the man-boy was eating crab legs the size of prosthetic legs. correction, he was tearing into them with such a fury i couldn't help but to really be attracted to the girl sitting across from him. if she can tolerate that...well, then she's a keeper. it was very similar to the seinfeld episode where jerry dates the girl with man hands, but cooler.




this is the gang pre-grossed out. we are all drinking 11 dollar lobsteritas, except sheena, who chose a "regular" margarita. she was new to the binge eating experience, so i did not make fun of her at the time. in case you cannot see, the lobsteritas are the size of kiddy pools.

also, our table was in the very back of the establishment...those people at red lobster are all kinds of smart...they totally knew we were going to be the most obnoxious people in the world (which we are). kudos red lobster teenage staff. kudos indeed.




this is the "regular" margarita sheena purchased. when she got it she explained that it was the "shoddiest rim job she had ever gotten," referring to the salt on the rim of the glass, i suppose.




this is josh on the first helping of fried shrimp. while he is very happy in this moment, i detect a sense of dread in his expression. i imagine he is thinking, "oh my god, what have i roped myself into?"




alas, josh's intuitions were correct because after that very helping, all the shrimps formed a revolt and attempted to pop through his stomach (ala alien). josh seems surprisingly happy about this...i think the reason for this is he knows that due to the 4 previous years of binge eating there is too much scar tissue in his stomach for any beast to break through. you go girl!




this is sheena extracting shrips from her eye sockets. (those shrimp are wiley fellows...they'll get into anything if you let your guard down.) the shrimp were sliced into equal portions and sheena received death. josh ate the shrimp.




this is seth indicating that the 250+ shrimp he ate have filled his abdominal cavity up to his sternum. jeez seth. suck it up and have some more. you have like another foot of room in that body of yours. talk about your giant wuss.




these are the "condiments" we received to garnish our already "tasty" entrees. we didn't know what the goopy one was. any thoughts?

in any case, we shot them down as if they were the sweet nectar within a devonian dragonfly.




after my third helping this about all i could see. awesome.




just like mama used to make.




this is claire and seth losing their minds. awesome. i love binge eating.




on the way out of the restaurant one of the crabs that holds the sugars and such for coffee attacked me. this is the attack as i saw it. you wouldn't think it, but crabs can scream pretty loudly. scared the hell out of me. josh ate the crab.