a week in the life of gilhouse. seriously.

so i am going to post about how i spent my week. but beware. this will not be a dissociative post, nor will it be based in non-reality. i will not mention gilhouse(s), t-rexes, flying beavers, whooping cranes, borts, igloo climbing competitions, sexual encounters i may (or may not) have had, sandwiches affixed to hands, or toby. i will not mention these things because they do not exist in reality, you idiots. come on, get with the program. we're 7 years old now, and i think it's about time we grew up.



oh who am i kidding. i can't do this seriously. trying to post about what actually happens in my life is like trying to call one of those phone sex lines without your asphyxiation apparatus. it just doesn't work.

this is a picture of my breakfast...a bowl of cereal with a side of clock washed down with a beer, 3 bottles of wine, a ceramic cow and mister clean. oh yeah, that feels better than reality.



oh wait, i did want to write something serious. i like the fall and the cold weather. this is my back yark in the fall. pretty, no?



back to business. so get this...i had a blind date this week! i know. i was really excited, but when this girl came to the door she turned out to be italian and really undercooked. not the kind i like. i prefer my girls to be thai, indian or mcdonalds.



oh, and again on a serious note...This is the window in my bedroom. the leaves are really pretty. i applied to be a leaf, and the leader of the ivy said they were hiring and i was perfect for the job, but just like the uncooked lasagne, they never called back. sigh.



this is indy getting ready for a walk and playing with his fake squirrel.



i'm joking, of course. in reality, this is indy auditioning with bill cosby for that program, "kids say the darndest things."


when bill asked indy how old he thought daddy was, indy tossed poop at the audience, lassoed bill with his leash and made him play tea party. a chip off the old block he is.



i like my neighborhood.



indy loves the leaves.



this is my dragon, sean connery.



it has come to my attention that i am gaining weight. now, i am by no means "fat", but compared to my past emaciated and troubled self, i am heavier. as such, i need to go on a diet. this tree is my target figure.



man, november is pretty.



now you might be thinking, jeez gilhouse, you have great light in your kitchen. wrong.

seeing how i have no income, i had to rent out part of my eating quarters to those people from the movie caccoon. in this pic you can make out a 89 year-old woman hanging from the handle on fridge and becoming vibrant, or something like that.



being unemployed messes with your mind. i just don't notice things as i used to. for example, this is a picture of a nuclear holocaust in my hallway. i didn't notice it, and indy had to remind be to become invisible.



this is my plant and psychiatrist. i named him dr. guppy pants, for obvious reasons.




i got indy a chair so he can watch me lose my mind. see if you can guess in which jacket i am hiding...seriously, guess.

give up?


ha! it was a ruse! i'm hiding in the towel.