tis, replied aunt helga

to keep up with the style of the time, i'm playing reruns of classic krusty. enjoy.
























i think this was the first time seth had a meal that was sweating. i also seem to recall us saying, "oh no" after eating most meals.









"roar", goes the wig!


as the saying goes, this picture really ages with time.

what i mean is... ahem, they get better and better. you could run for president with this picture, josh .




















this is the best. we had not slept for about two days, were full of hate, and if you look closely enough, you can see josh bleeding acid. i remember on the way to this first restaurant we took a cab after walking half-way there, thus accruing the necessary baseline soggy, sutt level we would carry through the rest of our adventures. the cabby was very happy we were american and put some britney spears on the radio. then he didn't know exactly where the restaurant was, ran down a street to get directions, at which point i believe i said goodbye to my friends, expecting to be mugged and stabbed with a bic pen by the cabby's accomplice. the driver eventually found the place and almost hopped the curb and drove over a concrete barrier to give us door-front service. what a time to be alive


and the thing de la...thing. arms crossed, lots of worry. no camera, no clothes, sensing that we were about to be very cold and drunk for more than one week... god i felt so bad for them. at least i had the selfish insight to take this picture, thus setting the precedent for future trips. next time, you guys capture my humiliation. agreed.

note: if you look closely enough you can see toby saying out loud, "i should have erased those pictures of me masturbating. they must never know."


and yet again, seth's breakfast. isn't this the one he ate whilst stroking?

simba, on the ball!

that's right, on the god damned ball! that's where i am...except i have to solve for the volume and density of the ball, implicitly differentiate it, and then...and then i have to determine whether it is isometric or isochoric. toby, how come you omitted to tell me about the rigors of scholastiana? your butt is up your butt so far you're peeing butt.



i feel right now like i did in the back room of that romanian strip joint where they made us drink the beer.


i also feel like i did when i made an attempt to assimilate into the world of the prarie dog (which is something i think was in the news last week...in wyoming?). whatever.


i really wish i were on the couch with a big bag of potato chips. mmmm, potato chips. either that, or driving the megan sedan in bucharest traffic, sans hands.


i recall when i got into school and thought, hey, i'm gonna be a doctor. that'll be fun. nope. even my taco saw the impending horror.


i saw no horror (pictured)


i thought it would be gravy and hoagie hands from there on out.





and people came over and we drank. and i saw sarah and dave, and that was nice.



and seth fell in love with his penis haircut, which is what did it for claire, from what i've heard from claire.


so it's back to the dungeon kitchen where i used to have cupcakes


aren't they nice cupcake? the W stands for tungsten, you know. it does.


is there an orange julias around here?

he'll be back

where nothing could possiblye go wrong. possibly go wrong. that's the first thing that's ever gone wrong.

ok. so all my nerdlinger friends are about done with their schooling. i don't like them. but we'll see who has the last laugh when i dissect them in anatomy and wear their brains like a davey crocket hat.

furthermore to my new hat, my campus is very pretty, which helps.

can you blow me where the pampers is? sure thing frostilicus.


look at them prancing around, like they're the cock of the walk.. we'll i'll let you know, they're cock of nothing.



i wish i could be walking around park slope in the summer, finding trucks with seth painted on them.



so, up at my schooling institution there is a perk... pizza three times the magnitude of the force to escape the gravitaional pull of toby's butt. it's as big as the the molar heat of fusion of copper! solve for the density of wood in bernouli's equation and compare it to the efficiency of a carnot engine and you'll see where i'm going. or not. either way.


right meagan?


right sheena?


well...the pizza is big enough to make you as sick as a person who ate mcdonalds with claire in massachusetts.



right. so it 's back to the butthead memorial auditorium for me.

god speed little doodle

right, so this is what happens when you turn 26. actually, this is only part of what happens. what really happens is you have the time of your life, that is until the time comes when you decide the best idea in the world is to have a shot of whisky everytime someone leaves the party. this equates to not only a sudden onset of uncontrollable falling down, but barfing a night's worth of cheese doodles like it was some sort of new break dancing. consequently, i currently have a hangover the likes of which ye have never seen. i don't even know what that means, so stick it and let me continue feeling hungover and singing sea chanties. now where was i? oh yes. ahem, ahem. "blow the man down, blow the man down" "row, row, row your boat." "in the navy..."



furthermore to my achy, breaky pelvis, here are some pictures from saturday night. i feel much too terrible to make comments about people i don't know, so how about we try something a bit different and more interactive. post a comment you think best fits the soused face, and the weiners will be posted on this butt machine. agreed? good. (if you need an idea of what i'm looking for, scroll down and read an example of seth's picture. and, you cannot make the joke about a hand release for 5-p, as we make that joke every damn day.)

we will now celebrate this understanding with the adding of chocolate to milk. now excuse me. "row, row, row your boat..."






















my nose says "yes", but my eyes say, "where the fuck am i?"