birthday girl

so toby has finally bagged himself s a homer and is turning an older age today. let us all bask in his warm aging glow.



so here area few things about toby. he has poo fingers...



and although he was spotting raccoons all the way down from the catskills, he in reality cannot see anything. not even a mailbox.

he has yet to master the use of his hands,

but that doesn't stop him from making friends with other disadvantaged, supernatrual friends, like mummies, eskimos, elves and vampires.

but don't cross him, and please keep your hands inside the car,

because he tends to go nuts with the skin (tofu skin) eating.

he has many interests, like looking.

and he's a jack of one trade: pooping (and fixing pooping problems). ok, two trades.

hmmm....what else is there?

well, he's sexually involved with his male friends, so he's not sweating it either.

in conclusion...toby is a land of contrasts.

you have an enchanting musk sir.

ok. so a few quick notes before i rush up to school and flush my head down the chemistry library toilet...indy is large and completely in charge (of the livingroom chair. our only chair).


last week i took my winged friends to a superbowl diarrhea-a-thon which was krustariffic, aside from the football playing. well, the first play was exceptional, but i realized i would rather be playing golf, in a casino making money to pay for med school, or maybe even getting a tan in one of those booths...you know, the ones with the cosmic rays that make you look like a carrot in the wintertime. yeah, i sure could go for some carrot skin right about now.


right, this is some of the fodder from last week. we had 3 pizzas, bagel bites, which indeed have made leaps and bounds in terms of quality since the late 1990s when i last ate these fellows, stick of "mootzarell" and a marshmallow cake, which incidentally turned my insides black. awesome. and oh, there were dips aplenty. what a time to be alive.



hmmm. where do i know this fellow from?


ah yes. i couldn't mistake that rump from anywhere! it's seth!


and let's just bask in the warm basking glow that is this picture. i wish i could focus in on toby's prancing better...


oh that's right. i can. i can't believe i was able to capture the sole moment when toby let down his guard and considered being happy. got ya! thumbs up indeed toby.


rolling with the homies? more like homos! up top!

look like stalin

right. so i have recently been making jokes about how it's funny that i am aging with time and am displaying some interesting 'older gilhouse' traits. for example, nothing, and i really mean nothing, makes me happier than a good parking space. not even a trunk pizza. i often comment to meagan walking down the street (any street, mind you) about nice, available parking spaces, and sometimes add "wouldn't it be nice if we lived here on this street and had that parking space?" it's like the bris/pigman episode on seinfeld when george want to show the newly-born baby that if you apply yourself you can still find good parking in the city.



any hoodly-doodle, today i received yet another sign that i am getting older with time. but unlike my quirky personality developments, this one is less of a horn-honker.



so today i went to get my haircut and it took only 10 minutes total. snip, snip. all done. get lost no hair. not only that, the woman made a point to trim my eyebrows (while making a joke in russian to her co-worker and then making the same joke to me in english about how absurd my eyebrows are). then she moved on to my ear hair, and after that, get this, she had to undo the bib thing to gain access to my evidently never-ending track of neck-cum-back hair. while this was happening all i could think about was that i rather enjoyed all the pampering.

so what i'm saying here is how i'm surprisingly ok with my body's decision to reallocate its hair. fucking sweet if you ask me (don't ask meagan).



so, i will not hang my head in shame (pictured above at a cracker barrel in VA), but will instead eat yet another triple burger with secret fattening sauces.